


Cigarette Daydreams

by msouma



Series: Kliego Week 2020 [4]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Drug Use, F/F, Genderbending, Incest, Mental Health Issues, im dropping this tag here just in case, no beta as usual hehe, oh and how could i forget, other than that its mainly canon stuff like, this is lesbianism bc i wanted it to be!!!, yknow fun stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:48:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27275209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msouma/pseuds/msouma
Summary: Meeting your soulmate is a once in a lifetime experience - society promised. When you wake up on your 14th birthday with new marks suddenly present on your body, aching to touch your one and true love, it would be miraculous. Klaudia begged to differ.-Kliego Week 2020 Day 5 - Soulmate AU.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves
Series: Kliego Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986322
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13
Collections: Kliego Week 2020





	Cigarette Daydreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fiveyaaas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/gifts).



> this fic was so much fun to write bc i love sapphics.... anyways. uh. this wasn't really proof-read bc i'm half asleep forgive me. also this has some themes (fall) from day 6! only because i can't write for that day.
> 
> anyways onto the fun stuff!! this one is a gift for my friend fiveyaaas bc well. they're sexy? they're a fellow sagittarius with god-like tastes & my sense of humor. so of course, i have Fallen in (platonic) love. i know fiveya is more your cup of tea but... hey... women are women so i hope you'll love these funky little sapphics as well!

Two ecstatic girls sat in their mother's room, on chairs opposing one another. One sat with her hands neatly folded on her lap, eyes closed while the other was leaning close so she could do her makeup.

While Dalia wasn’t the one to enjoy makeup, she made an exception this one time after a lot of persistent begging. Klaudia wanted the two of them to look like a pair of pretty dolls for their birthday party, and she was not going to let her sister weasel her way out of being the beauty of the party. Vanya already did, and Allison… well, Allison was Allison. She wanted to do her makeup alone, no bothering allowed.

“How do you think you’ll meet your soulmate?” Dalia mused, brown eyes meeting Klaudia’s gaze easily. Not a fear in her eyes. Never fear in her eyes. Headstrong, stubborn, full of rage - that was her dear Dalia. Her fashion complemented this, too. A pair of combat boots, black skinny jeans with makeshift holes, and a shirt with some rock band logo on it, so oversized that it was falling off one of her shoulders. Her hair was neatly tied into two short braids, only a few strands of dark curls falling on her forehead.

Before she could get lost in her thoughts, Klaudia clapped her hands together - the tube of lipstick stuck between her middle and pointer fingers like a cigarette - and then shrugged absentmindedly.

“I don’t have a clue, my sweetness,” she responded with ease, then continued, “maybe, judging by the marks on my palms, I’ll grab them like this!” To demonstrate, she slapped her hands on Dalia’s cheeks, smushing them as she leaned forward. Their noses rubbed together, much to Dalia’s embarrassment, but Klaudia only giggled it off. Her sister’s eyes shined so beautifully from up close. Dark and mesmerizing, like a deep ravine that invited you to step inside of it with its promises of treasure, only to suffocate you once you’re inside.

“Or maybe…” Setting down the lipstick, she moved her hands to grasp onto both of Dalia’s. “Maybe I’ll take them by their hands and look into their eyes so dreamily… and I’ll realize… they’re the one for me.” The shit-eating grin was more than enough to show that she was in no way serious.

Dalia’s hands felt so perfect in her own. The fingers that trembled as they shily pressed against her skin, the slightly sweaty palms (was her sister nervous?) and warm, soft skin that ached to be touched more, more,  _ more.  _

After a squeeze, she let go of Dalia and stood from the wooden chair so she could dig through Grace’s makeup bag. Dalia still needed her eyes done, and Klaudia needed to find her favorite eyeliner - the one that didn’t run no matter how hard you cry.  _ Bingo! _ Pulling it out, her gaze befell on the palm that was holding it. Clean. White. Empty.

_ No way. _

For a second, she just stood there pondering her options. Klaudia could, technically, just come out and say what had happened. But on the other hand, it was a bad,  _ no, _ abhorrent idea. Her tongue peeked out to lick over her glossed up lips as she shifted her weight from one high heel to another. _ She should just stay quiet. _

“Uh, Dalia, you wait a second. I have to run to the bathroom.” Pathetic excuse, especially when running off with eyeliner in hand. When Klaudia came back, the little spots on her palm were present again. Grace always said that eyeliner works wonders.

Klaudia agreed.

—

Meeting your soulmate is a once in a lifetime experience - society promised. When you wake up on your 14th birthday with new marks suddenly present on your body, aching to touch your one and true love, it would be miraculous. Klaudia begged to differ.

Every single one of her siblings woke up with those marks on them. Luther had it on his bicep, Dalia on the knuckles of her right hand, Allison on her right palm, Five on the bottom of his left foot, Ben on the very tip of the middle finger on his left hand and Vanya had hers on her right wrist.

Klaudia had it on the palms of her hands, and lost them all too fast. That moment was ridiculous, humiliating — not miraculous at all. Dalia didn’t notice, she was too dense to ( _ thank God! _ ), but Klaudia was left with the heaviest realization of her life. She’d never get to fall for her soulmate properly. Some would say it's because the two are siblings, but Klaudia pushed that fact to the farthest crevice of her brain. To her, it was because Dalia’s marks didn’t match her own.

On her 15th birthday, after a year of markered on spots on her palms, a year of wearing gloves for as long as possible, she asked her mother for a pair of golden earrings. Those she traded out for money. The money, more than enough, covered the cost of the new tattoos on her palms. It would be boring to have two bland spots covering her skin for the rest of her life, never to find the soulmate she already knew of. So instead, she suffered through a bigger pain - a big, black _‘hello’_ and _‘goodbye’_ on each of her palms to mark her ever so quick journey to love and her eternal curse of being a human ouija board.

When she came back with aching hands, her dearest, warmest Ben tugged her into his arms. He knew. He loved her all the same.

“How will you know who’s your soulmate?” Came the dreaded question from Dalia’s lips, way later in the evening. Klaudia responded that she doesn’t want one.

—

It was hard, avoiding someone you so deeply care about. Klaudia desperately wished to pull Dalia into her arms and hear her low laughter against her ear like they would do when they were younger, but it was impossible. She was afraid to say the wrong thing, or to hold her in a hug for a tad bit too long. She feared her feelings. She feared herself.

The deep unknown of Dalia’s feelings towards her unsettled her to the very core. Voices from under the grave promised her -  _ Dalia would never feel the same towards you. _

The next year was spent distancing herself from her family and Ben; even him. Realizing that she was different from the rest - the one afraid of her powers, the one who caused everyone to sigh whenever she spoke - helped her understand that she didn’t belong here. Maybe she just didn’t want to belong.

She would drink, sometimes; understandable, when you live under the roof of Reginald Hargreeves. 

Ben died when Klaudia was barely 16. A cold winter, it was.

She would drink, at least once a day; understandable, when the person you held most important to you passed away, and your soulmate turns away from you because your breath smells of vodka and your dizzy mind turns your ‘I love you’s’ to ‘I hate you’s’.

Dalia left their home when Klaudia was halfway past 17. A sweet spring.

She didn’t comprehend the warm sunshine; her curly hair sprawled against the concrete as she laughed with a needle stuck in her arm for the very first time. Ben decided to fade out of existence so he wouldn’t need to witness such a mess. Klaudia didn’t blame him.

Klaudia forced herself out of the manor a few months before turning 18. The summer heat was a perfect time.

With some stolen goodies from her father, cash she saved up on her own and some other stuff she received from Grace, Klaudia found herself a shabby apartment at the corner of the city. Her rent there lasted no more than 2 months before all of her money was wasted on the things that made her feel  _ alive. _ Ben insisted that she was killing herself. She chuckled.

—

Life doesn’t get easier when you get older. Whoever says it does is a big fat liar who probably had a smooth life to begin with. Smooth like warm butter on a bagel that Klaudia desperately wished to eat right now. Her stomach was forcing these thoughts in her head, wasn’t it? Goddamn traitor.

It was a day since she had left her last rehab center. She was clean for 90 days, what a wonderful thing!  _ So now, get the fuck out, since we’re all so supportive of your clean lifestyle.  _ Did they even think that she had nowhere to go, now? All her family had moved out of this city. Luther was somewhere on the moon or something, Allison was living her best, lavish life in Hollywood, Five was God knows where, Ben… well, Ben was right here, and Vanya? Klaudia had no fucking clue.

The only one still in town was Dalia, and that was the one person Klaudia didn’t wish to see. Not because she didn’t miss her, of course she did. The last time they met was in Allison’s wedding… which was like what, 4 years ago at least? Dalia had a girl besides her, probably a hook-up until she ends up finding her soulmate, or maybe a genuine lover. Klaudia didn’t ask. Dalia didn’t offer this information on her own.

“You know you can’t sit here forever,” Ben offered his unneeded opinion as he fake-leaned against the dumpster besides them. His clothes looked warm - a black hoodie hugging his lithe body with a jacket on top. Just enough layers to get him through the cold autumn. Klaudia, on the other hand, was left sitting on the cold asphalt with nothing but leather pants (despite the sweat they manufactured, they did nothing to cover her from the cold) and a makeshift crop top that was rolling up to her chest. One would ask where her shoes were, and one wouldn’t get an answer.

She shuffled closer to the dumpster in attempts to hide from the intruding chill that crashed through the gaps on the side of her pants and her bare tummy. It was easy to cling to Ben, in her dreams. In reality, she only ended up phasing her hand through him and pushing it against the cool metal besides her.

“You need warmth. Go home, Klaudia.” His tone was laced with pity, which only made her scoff. Klaudia’s eyes moved to his face for a split second, catching that melancholic expression, then landed on the wall in front of her. Grey, boring, cold. Was the wall a metaphor for herself? Nope; she wasn’t  _ grey _ or  _ boring. _

“To who, Benny-boy?” Thick brow raised to accentuate the questioning manner her voice took. “To Reggy? To old creepy Mr. Hargreeves? So he could tell me I need to get back to work and become a good girl again?” Those words settled heavier than she intended. Her lip was sucked in between her teeth and she wondered - was that the only choice she had?

“You can also go to Dalia.” Again. He had told her this before when she left rehab for the 10th time. Klaudia refused and found someone to shelter her for a little while. No one nice, but someone who gave her warm housing, food and cash.

Dalia had her own life. She had her freedom since the beautiful age of 17 and she sure used it. Had her own apartment, a job, fun hobbies and a little vigilante work on the side. Klaudia could only wish to be like her, to have something she could live for and have the patience to work for it. Her patience ran thin in the most miniscule things in life, more so when it came to  _ savings _ . Who in the hell had time for those?

“Klaudia,” Ben continued, his hand phasing through her face as he gestured for her attention. She gave it to him with difficulty. “You need to go somewhere warm. It’s not summer any longer, you won’t survive under bridges or in alleys. It’s fucking cold, and you look like a mess.” He wasn’t wrong. Her hair was unbrushed, wild curls sticking all around her head like a fucked up halo, her makeup was runny and her clothes, yeah, her clothes. She was fucking freezing. 

Her arms wrapped around herself to soothe out the goosebumps from her skin as she shrugged. “I’ll survive.”

“You won’t. That’s precisely the fucking point. We were outside for a day at least, and you have nowhere to fucking go.”

Unfortunately, Ben was  _ right.  _ Damn, she hated when he was right.

—

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Fingers tapped against her hip as Klaudia slid towards the dark metal door in forced silence. Ben had vanished with a peace sign of encouragement (greatly fucking appreciated and all), and she was all alone now, caving into the normal human need for warmth and food.

Klaudia could push away her pride in times of need, swallow it like a big gulp of hair, but right now, she wondered if it would be best to turn around. It was difficult to push away that sudden heart-burn of guilt.

The door was slightly ajar. She should knock, but against her better judgement, she pushed the heavy metal with the palm of her left hand. It was cold, but not like the night before (that chill had entered the marrow of her shaky bones), it was just enough to make her hiss, not cry. With a gulp, she entered the dark, silent room. Either Dalia slept with her door open or she wasn’t here. Logically, she should still be fast asleep. It was early morning, the sun didn’t even rise, so where else would she be?

But Dalia never followed normal human logic. Klaudia didn’t, either, as she pushed her body further into the room and pattered down the steps with her bare feet. The room was pleasantly tiny and warm, like a cup of espresso in a little Italian bar somewhere in the depths of Nola. Through the darkness, she could see the room vaguely - a shabby bed, a tiny closet, a coffee table, some more furniture and decorations. She closed her eyes.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

She needed to stay calm, and she’d say it’s  _ hard _ , but the pleasant earthy smell lulled her into a trance that she didn’t want to get out of. Like Alice in Wonderland, she fell into a 50 metre hole, yelled her whole way down and ended up in- blue, red, yellow, green. Stars sparkled across her closed lids as heaviness clashed against her left cheek hard enough to make her head turn to the right. Why was her Wonderland so painful?

Seconds ticked past until Klaudia peeled her eyes open, blinking rapidly as she took in her suddenly bright surroundings. Her hand clasped over her cheek on reflex, pillows of her fingers moving over the hot skin as she gasped for air with her gaping mouth. She winced. It hurt. Fuck, did it  _ hurt.  _

“Oh my god!” More painful than the punch, came Dalia’s voice. “I’m so sorry, Klaudia, holy fuck.” She sounded genuinely apologetic, if only for a moment.

Then Klaudia turned to face her.

Shit.

Dalia stood there with her short hair dripping down her forehead, one of the hands clutching onto the towel that was wrapped around her slightly damp body and the other still lingering mere inches away from Klaudia’s face - probably ready for another punch if necessary. Her cheeks looked darker than the rest of her skin (embarrassment or hot shower?), her lips were slightly parted in surprise to match her wide, warm eyes.

Klaudia’s eyes lingered there only for a second, then unwillingly went down. Her collarbones were sharp, going into the strong shoulder blades that were covered in a tasteful amount of muscle. The towel didn’t do much of hiding, either, as she could… well, she could…

“What are you doing here, Klaudia?” Dalia pushed the towel up to her collarbone, and Klaudia’s eyes snapped back up to her face.

“Uh…”  _ Nice going, _ Ben’s voice rang in her mind, _ can you ever try to be subtle?  _ “I… um…”

Being honest was the best choice here, but admitting to being practically homeless would not only break her ego, but break Dalia’s heart, too. Despite this tough act, that girl was no more than a big fucking softie. If nothing else, Klaudia knew that about her sister - all of them did.

“So?” Dalia’s beautiful, dark eyebrow raised in a questioning manner. What Klaudia wouldn’t give to press kisses all along it.

“I just wanted to see my favorite sister!” She scoffed. “ _ What, _ is that not allowed all of a sudden? You know I loveeee you, Dalia, so why wouldn’t I wanna give you a tiny surprise?  _ Leben steckt voller Überraschungen! _ ”

Her hand patted the hurting cheek, lips twisting into a pout as she exhaled heavily.

“But clearly, you’re not very happy to see me! How rude. I expected a warm welcoming… all  _ ‘Oh Klaudia, I didn’t see you in years!’ _ , but what I got was a punch in the face. Literally!”

Dalia rolled her eyes, then wrapped her fingers around Klaudia’s wrist. Her skin was rough - fingers calloused from extreme workouts and knife throwing. Her fingers fit perfectly around Klaudia’s thin wrist. It sent a jolt of fleeting excitement through her as she looked up at Dalia.

Despite being the same height - around 6 feet, mind you - Klaudia had always felt so tiny compared to her sister. Although sharper in bone structure, her face stayed tinier and softer than Dalia’s mix of round and intense features. Klaudia’s body followed up in the softer direction - lean muscles, flat as a washboard chest, a gap between her scrawny thighs (whether it was from her being naturally thin or undereating only God knew). She knew she had a pretty appealing body for someone who’s born a woman, but Dalia had the body of Greek Gods themselves. Strong and broad, with muscles that looked hard enough to break your teeth if you decided to bite into them. God, did she wonder about chomping her slightly crooked teeth down on that flesh.

“Why are you here, Klaudia.” This time, it wasn’t a question. More so, an accusing statement that rolled out past her mouth with such conviction in her voice that Klaudia’s breath hitched in response.

Was there a point in lying, when it came to Dalia?

A squeeze to her wrist gave her the strength to speak, “I left rehab and… well… I don’t really have a flat, per se. I can stay over at some people’s places and I do, most of the time, but right now it’s been so cold and I… I wanted to see you?”

In truth, there was nowhere else this stray dog could go. All of her temporary homes were either shut down because of bad last words, no money or simply because she’s not yet ready to whore herself out again. The last time, right before rehab, went poorly and she didn’t want to experience it again so soon. So the stray dog went right back where it belonged - to its owner.

“You never want to see me.” Klaudia’s hand was pulled away from her sore cheek so Dalia could lean closer and observe it in the low light of the boiler room. Not much of observation, just the heat from her body combined with the already warm touch to Klaudia’s wrist.

Sometimes, Klaudia felt like her stomach was filled with an orchestra of bugs, crawling all over the place and biting her guts. She also sometimes felt like her heart was a cuckoo, excited to burst out of its nest. This moment of Dalia being almost close enough to touch, her fresh scent entering Klaudia’s nose, her damp hair inches away from letting droplets fall on her clothed shoulder, her fingers slowly pushing into the thin skin of Klaudia’s wrist was exactly it. Her body was malfunctioning and it was all her soulmate’s fault.

“I… I do, though.” Came a muttered response. Technically, not a lie. “Just don’t wanna bother your very, awfully fulfilling life and all.” Her eyes peeled away from Dalia to look around the dark boiler room they currently stood in the middle of. The dark walls covered with various posters, targets and stitching artwork from Grace, the shabby bed, the mirror - far from a great room. Barely a window in this place. Working as a janitor and getting into boxing fights for some spare cash was also far from a fulfilling life. But whatever was best for her dear sister.

“Right.” Dalia’s lips parted so slowly as she let only one word slip past them. It was like she bit back something more.  _ Tease. _ “Go sit on the bed. I’ll clean you up in just a sec.”

“I’d have to shower for me to get clean.”

“Then do so. You stink, anyway.” Finally, some resemblance of a smile on those beautiful lips. Would she smile more with a thousand of kisses all over her face?

“Oh,  _ I  _ stink. I see. I wonder just how bad you would stink after spending a damn day hiding behind a dumpster because you have nowhere to go.” Klaudia bit back, then tugged her wrist out of that soft grip with a little laugh. 

“Clothes! I need those. And I know you’ll protest against giving me some,” waving Dalia off, Klaudia mused. She sauntered over to the shabby excuse of a wardrobe (more like a dresser with a hanging option), opened the creaky doors and dug through it fast enough to grab onto a shirt and a pair of what seemed like gym shorts. Good enough for now. Dalia wasn’t fast enough to stop her.

“Imma go shower… where is it? Like… outside of your room, yeah? You live in a fucking dorm, I’m tellin’ ya. You need to get a nicer place,” Klaudia rambled off as she began her way up the cool, stone steps of the room. “Somewhere lighter!  _ Mio Dio,  _ you can’t do makeup here even in the light of day.”

“Good thing I don’t do makeup then.” Dalia followed her up the steps, rolling her eyes at the exclamations. The movement of Klaudia’s hands didn’t bother her, neither did the rambles. Klaudia recognized that familiar, happy glint in her dull eyes. Could they pretend that they were still those innocent children?

“By the way, you can do your makeup anywhere. That’s like your special skill. I still remember how you did your eyeliner all perfect and shit when you were riding in a taxi with me.” Her sister shrugged.

“And I still remember how you never did your makeup on your own. You’re absolutely dogshit at it,” Klaudia retorted with a giggle, stepping out into the hallway. Before she could continue on her merry, yet unknown way, Dalia stopped her by grabbing her hand.

“I’m not gonna leave my room again,” she said as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. It was. “But yeah, go straight down the hallway and there’ll be the shower room. Just do your thing,  _ whatever _ it is. Then come back, yeah? I’m more than just a shower.” 

_ Oh, you’re way more than a warm shower or even a warm meal,  _ Klaudia wished to say,  _ you’re so much fucking more. _

She gave a nod. “See you in a few. You best prepare all the bandages and other fun stuff.”

—

Two damp-haired ladies sat on the bed. One with her hair neatly shaved at the sides so the only part that was really damp was the section on the top, a baggy pyjama shirt and pants. The other with slacked out curls that now laid down to her shoulders, an oversized shirt with a band name on it and grey, boring and giant gym shorts. They sat there, and they stared. One at the bandages she was currently applying on the other’s cheek. The other… she was staring at everything but the gentle woman next to her. It would be a sin to. Not against God, no, not against her. God had made it clear already that she didn’t give a single fuck about what Klaudia was up to.

So who… who was it a sin against?

Klaudia looked to Dalia’s right hand in hopes of finding the soulmark still there, intact and untouched, but her skin was clear and smooth. It was  _ gone.  _

“You found your soulmate?” Her question came as no more than a whisper. A cry for help that only Ben heard since he was there, somewhere deep in the telepathic realm of her mind. A soothing voice came back to hug her from behind -  _ you’ll be okay, _ Ben promised.

“Huh?” Dalia’s confusion was evident as her brows furrowed, her eyes flicking between Klaudia’s eyes, her cheek, and then her own hand. “Oh…”

“You mean this?” She raised her hand then, to show how bare it was now. “Yeah… yeah, I did. A very bizarre person, they are.”

The bug orchestra quieted down, put down their instruments and put away their teeth, then stepped away from the stage to let someone new in. The ugly monster slithered in with a wave of nausea, ran its slimy tongue over her stomach and reached its ugly little hand up to the left part of her chest, where it squeezed, squeezed,  _ squeezed _ . Her heart ripped so easily.

It covered her windpipe until all of her breath left her lungs, it sprawled through every single one of the organs inside her belly, slid through the ribs with its heavy weight. It spread. It spread so far until it became one with her. Klaudia was no more than a sleazy, slimy, disgusting monster full of unreasonable anger and guilt.

She wanted to yell, she wanted to scream, she wanted to eat Dalia alive and spare no more than a bite for someone else to get a taste. Dalia was  _ her  _ soulmate, no one else's. But if that were true, why did Klaudia not try to do a thing about it sooner?

_ Because it was a sin. _

_ Against who, _ she asked again. This time, the answer presented itself so easily - against Dalia’s soulmate.

“Is that so?” Klaudia chuckled, a laugh laced with bitterness that was covered by a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Dalia noticed. Klaudia saw that she noticed. Dalia didn’t say a thing. “Tell me about them, then. What are they like?”

“God, they’re irritating,” Dalia began with a laugh, lips stretching so far that it could rip her cheeks. Though a glint of an unknown emotion shone through. “Loud, obnoxious. They always blow things out of proportion because they’re a big dumb idiot, and they can’t find a solution even when its always right in front of them. They still think they’re the smartest person in the room, though, despite their shortcomings. They’re right.” A tasteful pause that gave Dalia a moment to think. Her soulmate sounded like someone Klaudia wished to strangle to death, but maybe she’s just biased.

“They… they’re wonderful. Naturally witty and smart, know how to adapt to every situation. They have the charm of the devil. I was lured in before I even knew they were mine.” Her smile started to fade, and Dalia pushed back a bit as she looked over Klaudia’s cheek. It was probably just fine now, after all that careful treatment. Although that pain faded in comparison to the blow dealt to her now. Dalia loved them, she truly did. Klaudia hadn’t seen this light in her eyes since childhood.

“But they… I don’t think they know just how much they mean to everyone around them… To _ me.  _ They think they’re horrible, so they treat themselves like they’re the lowest of scum. I wish I could tell them that they’re more than that. I always did from the moment I saw that switch in them.”

“Yeah?” Klaudia gulped, that slight smile glued on her face like a protective mask. “I think you should tell them, then. You won’t live forever and neither will they. Sometimes words from someone you love help more than any meds.” Dalia defensively hunched her shoulders up, her mouth opening to speak. Klaudia interrupted by raising up a finger. “I never said meds don’t help, dear sister. They’re a Godsend. So I take that back, actually, nevermind!” 

Klaudia shifted before laying down. Her hands were then raised, palms facing her own face as she read over the tattoos over and over again until her mind caught up with her. Like a bunny in a race, it rushed through countless ideas and logical hoops before one cohesive thought was found.

“I don’t know if I met mine,” she began, then shook her head, “no, I do. I know who’s my soulmate.”

“Who?” Dalia prompted with genuine curiosity. She wanted to know about her sister’s life. Maybe she hoped that there was a promise of a somewhat happy life there, but there wasn’t. Future was bleak for poor little Klaudia Hargreeves.  _ C'est la vie. _

“Someone really beautiful, Dalia. Someone magnificent. Strong yet vulnerable, pathetically beautiful, someone I wish I could kiss ‘till I lose my breath and die!” She laughed, hands falling down to her face as she grimaced underneath.

_ You, _ she wished to say, and almost did. The word leaped past the grimy monster’s fingers clutching her heart, slipped through the slime in her throat and moved to the very tip of her tongue. But Klaudia and this monster, they were one and the same. It was forcibly swallowed. Pushed back down the river of slime and into the cage in her chest.

_ You, _ she wished to say, but never did.

“Why didn’t you go to their place? Had a fight?” Dalia asked. That clueless bastard.

“Missed my sister. Didn’t I tell ya?” Klaudia shot back up to a sitting position, then slid closer and placed her hands on Dalia’s shoulders. “Is missing you not a reason enough to see you? Do I have to have a reason to see you, in the first place? Sometimes I just wonder how you’re doing and I can’t… I can’t just leave you be. I have to see you. I  _ need  _ to see you. Sometimes I just…” Her fingers lingered along the collar of Dalia’s shirt, then daringly moved up and grasped onto her cheeks. Warm and flushed, like they were when they were only fourteen. “I just want to see you, sometimes.”

Dalia was taken aback -  _ she believed her!  _ Eyes slightly widened, brows shot up high, mouth tugged into a tight, nervous line. Her jaw was tense, Klaudia could feel it under her thumbs. A second time this day, the choir returned. Even through the disgusting mess that her stomach now was, it reigned with a sweeping melody.

“I’m glad you’re here,  _ sister. _ ” It came slowly, together with that gentle touch to her cheek. Klaudia’s skin hurt wherever those tough fingers pressed, and soon, her healthy cheek was turned bruised just by touch. “But you never… you never come without a reason. We both know it, Klaudia. If you need a shower, a meal, I’m always here. Hell, even if you need some cash for those fucking drugs you do, I’ll be here. Just don’t lie to me. Tell me why you’re here or I swear I’ll have to make you leave.”

“Oh, will you now?” A giggle as Klaudia pushed away. Dalia held her glare, and it finally made her give in. She could tell her the truth, yeah… sure. As if.

“Fine, fine.” Waving her hand, Klaudia leaned back. “I just want some sleep in a warm bed. Some food. A place to stay in for a few days because there’s nowhere else I can go. That’s chill with ya?” 

Dalia’s face softened. Here was the woman Klaudia so desperately wished to call her own. With her glinting eyes and soft smiles, all surrounded by a hard exterior that was shown to everyone but Klaudia.

“Yeah, that’s chill with me. Now come ‘ere, need to feed you. You’re skin and bones,  _ Klauds! _ ”

—

Imagine waking up next to your soulmate. The sun from the tiny windows is barely entering the room, therefore the comforting darkness surrounds the tiny bed you’re laying in. You’re stuck against a cold wall, but you don’t feel any of the iciness of it because the blanket and the body next to you provide you with all of the warmth you need. Heaven, isn’t it? It would be, if Klaudia could only call Dalia  _ her  _ soulmate.

She reached her hand out, brushed it over the other’s cheek. Her thumb travelled over the tiny beauty marks above her lip and nearby her nose, then her fingers reached the scar starting right below the temple. Klaudia sighed, so blissfully unaware of how inappropriate this was. When Dalia was asleep, or just didn’t pay any mind, Klaudia would allow herself such moments. Touches to her shoulders when emphasising a point, grasping onto her hand to lead the way… stroking her face like a work of art when she was sleeping. Even the scars left behind by their cruel fates were stunning when they were on Dalia.

“Tickles,” Dalia mumbled. That should’ve forced Klaudia’s hand away, but she moved it down to Dalia’s shoulder instead. Rubbing it, Klaudia yawned and moved to press her forehead against her sister’s chin as she closed her eyes.

“Today’s the day, eh?” She responded with a small smile, giving Dalia’s shoulder a squeeze.

The last few days, Dalia was nervous, and Klaudia was keen on knowing why the hell her sister felt this way. She found out only yesterday - Dalia had planned a date with her soulmate today, and she needed to get ready. If there was one thing this woman absolutely sucked at, it was getting ready. So Klaudia offered her help. After all, she was living rent free in this shitty little apartment with the love of her life, so the very least she could do was help Dalia get ready.

While it wasn’t the most exciting occasion for Klaudia, she knew how fun it would be for Dalia, so she was more than happy to help her. After a morning coffee and some fulfilling breakfast, of course.

Coffee was good. Dalia knew how to make it with enough sugar to feed Klaudia’s sweet tooth. The breakfast not so much; neither of the sisters were particularly skilled at cooking, so they ended up with an omelette that was half raw, half burnt. Good enough to be eaten, though. Ben promised Klaudia will end up getting salmonella.

Next step was choosing the clothes for her sister. Her wardrobe wasn’t particularly stylish or sexy, but that was nothing surprising. Dalia was not the fashion guru of the family - Klaudia was. They ended up choosing a pair of ripped jeans with an orange patterned button-up shirt and combat boots (aka the only shoes this girl owned, apparently). Dalia did her own hair, thank God, and then came the makeup part. Despite the constant refusal on her sister’s part, Klaudia still forced her down onto the bed and polished her face enough for it to look presentable. Some mascara, a small line of liner around the eyes, concealer on the slight imperfections and lip gloss - a combo to die for.

“Come with me,” Dalia said in such a tiny voice that there was no way Klaudia could refuse. Her sister was more nervous than she had ever seen. Was that soulmate really so important to her? Of course they were, what a stupid question.

With a nod, Klaudia put on her own, now clean clothes and fixed up her hair before adding a bit of eyeliner and mascara to her eyes. Draping on her sister’s old denim jacket (it smelled like a thrift store), she asked, “you ready?”

With a  _ ‘yes’ _ , Dalia put on a leather jacket and tugged Klaudia out of the house.

Klaudia will have to be a third wheel in this little soulmate outing.  _ Fan-fucking-tastic. _

—

The diner they settled on was quiet. Giant windows let the whole brightness of autumn shine inside, the light colors of the walls and tables only bouncing back with the same excitement. Klaudia set her milkshake down against one of the tables as she shifted in her plush seat, brows knitting in annoyance.

“So when are they going to show up? They’re already late by 30 minutes! How fucking rude.” She scoffed, setting her chin down on her palm. Even though Klaudia was ready to assemble an undead army to kill Dalia’s soulmate, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t excited to meet them. Alas, they didn’t come yet. Would they even show up?

“If they stood you up, I swear to all the saints I will do whatever it takes to hunt them down and-”

“Klaudia, it’s okay.” Dalia laughed softly as she leaned back against her chair, eyes flicking to look out the window for just a second before returning to meet Klaudia’s own, confused gaze. “I don’t mind if they did stand me up. I still have you… a cheaper, lower quality version of them… but I’m not alone.”

_ “Ouch!” _ Klaudia’s hand clasped over her chest as her confusion turned into an accusing glare. “I’m worse? Oh how  _ dare _ you! I would always put my family above everyone, and this is what I get in return? You wouldn’t look this good today if you didn’t have me next to you.”

“Yeah, I would look like a normal human being. Now I look like a punk band drop-out.” Dalia bit back, and Klaudia pouted.

“Just because you’re right doesn’t mean you should say it…” Came a mumble, but the feud was soon forgotten as Klaudia sipped more of her banana milkshake. With enthusiasm, she pushed the glass towards Dalia. “Try it! It’s fucking heavenly… Dang, do you remember that one time we ate donuts here instead of training? Dad hated us for it!”

Dalia laughed softly as she took the glass. Of course she remembered. Her memory was always the stronger one.

“It’s good, Klaudia… perfect, actually.”

—

“You know what?” Klaudia asked abruptly, breaking their eternal silence. This atmosphere was colorless - grey path, dying grass, brown autumn leaves falling off the dry branches, floating through the bleak sky. This, however, was far from matching the setting. Dalia’s smile was small, yet one of the brightest ones Klaudia had ever seen, and accompanied with her new found fashion, it made it all the more colorful.

They had done many things Dalia was supposed to do with her date - went to the diner, then left to drive to a crappy cinema and watch an even crappier movie, and now they ended up going on this relaxing walk in the late afternoon.

“What?” Dalia turned her eyes from the ugly asphalt to Klaudia, lips slightly parted as she waited for an answer.

“Fuck your soulmate.” Laugh shook Klaudia’s cool body as she tugged her jacket tighter around herself. “I mean, seriously? Abandoning someone who worked so hard on a date? Someone who made their wingwoman dress up just as well, too? What a bitch!” A pause long enough for Klaudia to gesture towards Dalia, “no offense.”

“None taken.” Dalia’s left hand rubbed over the knuckles of her right one, her eyes darting from one side to another while she thought things over. Constantly, there were things to think over, but this moment had to be cheery, forgiving,  _ special. _

Klaudia stopped in her tracks, wrapped her arms around herself. Dalia followed suit, curious eyes landing on her.

“Did I… ruin the moment?” Klaudia hid her insecurity behind a bitter voice, one that clearly took Dalia out of her comfort zone. It wasn’t often that she used this tactic on others, barely ever, but if it was anyone, it should be Dalia who notices.

“No, Klaudia, you didn’t ruin a thing.” Dalia shook her head, hands lacing together as she tried to find a way to phrase her thoughts. First, it was her eyes going down to the ground, second - the tension in her jaw, third - her lips parting, quivering, final - she finally speaks. Klaudia knew this routine.

“You… actually, I know this sounds stupid, but today was the best day of my life. And I may be the one ruining the moment, but I…” Dalia stopped, raised her right hand to her face to nervously scratch at her cheek. Klaudia wished to interrupt, but Ben warned her against it.  _ Party pooper. _

“It’s just that those few days ago, you came here and I… I didn’t know it was you, so I hit you, remember?”

“You feel bad about that now?” Klaudia laughed, reached out to pat Dalia’s shoulder, but her hand was swatted away. The smile was wiped away together with the hand. “What’s wrong, Dalia?” There had to be something Klaudia did wrong. She always ruined things, always. This was no exception.

“This.” Dalia turned her right hand around to show the back of it to Klaudia, biting down on her lower lip as she pushed air out through her nose. “This is what’s wrong, Klaudia. It disappeared when I punched you.” Her hands clenched, Klaudia’s mouth fell open.

_ “Oh…” _ What a cruel joke. Klaudia spent a year of her life drawing on spots on her palms, covered up her sins with tattoos, ignored and avoided her family to keep them safe from someone so fucked up, overdosed dozens of times to forget all the pains in her life. And now, after so many fucking years, God decided it was time to erase the damn mark from Dalia’s hand.

“No, you’re fucking kidding.” She huffed out a laugh, raising her pointer finger as she inhaled sharply. Her tongue ran over her teeth. She needed to get herself together, none of this was Dalia’s fault.

“It’s not her fault-” Ben tried to interject, taking a step closer towards Klaudia with a look that screamed both pity and disdain.

“Shut the fuck up!” Her head twisted to the side in one quick movement as she pointed towards her brother. The other backed a few steps away, then heaved out a sigh.

As she turned back to her sister with a fake smile on her face, Ben vanished somewhere. Hopefully permanently. She supposed she’d have to explain this to Dalia, but fuck that. Has she explained anything to  _ her, _ ever? No. All Dalia ever did was lie right to her face.

“I spent years hating myself because my soulmate was my fucking sister.” Klaudia raised her palms, showing the tattoos to Dalia as her nose scrunched up for a second. Her face soon melted into a clean, neutral slate with a sigh.

“The marks? They disappeared on our 14th birthday. Can you believe that?” Bitter laughter escaped Klaudia while she clapped her hands together. “I drew them on ever since I touched your face. You probably don’t even fucking remember.” She didn’t expect her to remember a thing. Not a thing. She hid it so well.

“I got those tattoos because yes, they’re cool! But guess fucking what? They hid it better than the permanent marker I had to powder down to keep it from being glossy on my skin.” She shrugged, eyes closing as she took a deep breath.

“I hid it for so many years, Dalia, I hid it because I knew that we weren’t meant for each other. You had someone coming for you, I thought, someone better than me!”

“I…” Dalia was like a deer caught in the headlights, eyes wide and hands stuck by the sides of her tense body. She blinked once, twice, took a moment to think. Klaudia let her. “I didn’t know, Klaudia. If I knew, I would’ve… I would’ve…”

“What would you have done?” Klaudia ran her fingers through her curls. “Nothing. Because you fully knew that I’m not your soulmate. I’m  _ not _ your soulmate. You’re just lying because you hate that they didn’t show up!”

“I’d never do that to you-” Dalia began, but Klaudia couldn’t bear her lies any longer.

“But you  _ did! _ You already lied. If I was your soulmate, why didn’t you tell me at first?” She asked, arms, that were once flailing around her, now crossed against her chest. “Just tell me why.”

“Why didn’t you?” Dalia’s response put a pause to the rage machine that was turned on inside of Klaudia’s brain. She fell silent, eyes lowered, and one of her hands twisted out to gesture in an apprehensive manner.

“Because I was scared.”

“Well, I was always the braver one out of the two of us, Klaudia.” Dalia then shrugged and offered her a side smile.

There were so many things she wished to say to refute this argument, but Dalia was right. She had always been the brave, protective sister, who would rage out against anyone if it meant that she won the argument. She had no limits to how much she would push herself, facing her fears just to prove something to someone. What and to who was never known. But she had always kept this up. Klaudia had always been a coward. She had grabbed onto everything that soothed out her feelings, made them malleable. She had stayed quiet on the worst moments. She had spoken up at the worst moments, too. Never to be taken seriously because she was like this. Because she was a coward.

It was time to be brave.

Klaudia shifted from one foot to another, grasped onto the denim jacket as she finally raised her gaze to meet Dalia’s own, expectant one.

“Can we start this conversation over? I promise I won’t freak out,” she all but muttered, voice breaking in between sentences.

“We can start over as many times as you need to, Klaudia.”   
  



End file.
